Serving the Underclasses

YES

2006-08-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

Night racing has finished.

RESULT!

I am still alive. Thoughts may follow from this rejuvanated man.

Worst Day Ever

2006-07-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the whining ranty post, but I just need to get this off my chest.

I've been at the bookies for just over 2 years now, and I have to say that today has been the worst day I've had.

Now, this is quite a claim, given the copious amounts of days I've spent getting abused by punters, had people trying to cheat me, given people the wrong amount back for a bet and watched them flee the shop like Westmead Hawk, came in after consuming one too many drink of Mother Russia's finest and suffering a whole day of general crappiness.

Today though, was just a complete and utter chore from the moment I walked in, to the moment I walked out.

It's extremely warm in Scotland at the moment, temperatures are in the 28 degrees area, which is highly unusual for us. My shop does not have air conditioning. We can normally lessen the blow slightly by opening the back window, opening the front door and letting a couple of small fans attempt to circulate some cold air around the shop, with limited success. This was not possible today thanks to the fishmonger next door deciding to leave some rotten fish out the back of his shop. Faced with the choice of vomiting profusely due to the smell, or sweating to death, we chose the sweating option.

So, it's inordinately warm inside the shop. This makes the punters warm. Punters, on the whole, do not believe in any form of personal hygiene, be it a proper shower, or even a French shower. The warmth makes them sweat. Thanks to a distinct lack of any deodorant or anti-perspirant, they absolutely stink.

Now, today wasn't particularly busy, but it was constant. We did a reasonable number of bets for the shop, but there were no quiet or busy spells. Just a constant stream of business over the whole day, from 12:30 to 9:30, at no point did it get quiet, or did it get any busier. Very unusual, and very unwelcome given that by 5pm I just wanted to lie in a freezer. The same people staying in the shop the whole time, betting on every single race. Now, I'm loathe to criticise these people, for they be the hand that feeds me, but Christ on a bike, what kind of existance do they lead when they can spend the whole day in the bookies, betting on ever race. It just boggles the mind.

So I think I'm going to start whinging more and more to our District Manager for air conditioning, because if I'm going to have to suffer it, I sure as hell ain't gonna do it in silence. I'd like to see him put 5 full day shifts in the shop and see if doesn't agree with our shops need for air conditioning! Tis a disgrace!

Interesting...

2006-07-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

Hmm. Since I whinged about tipping in my last post, the amount of tips I've received have gone through the roof. Before the post, I'd had the odd bit of money here and there. In the past two weeks, however, I've had around £100 in tips. Very nice indeed, long may it continue!

Anyway, I recently finished my managerial training, and naturally no time was wasted putting me into shops in a managerial role! It's been good so far, not really any difficulties, although I have issues with keys and very nearly managed to set off the alarm in one shop due to a crap key refusing to work!

I like power!

Balls

2006-06-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

Ugh, had a feeling I'd forgotten about something. Arse. Apologies to anyone who has been regularly checking this blog for an update, I can offer no excuse except sheer cackheadedness and laziness.

Anyway, on checking a post over at the rather excellent Waiterrant.net on tipping, a few thoughts sprung to mind and I felt maybe I should let them out.

As all fellow Brits, and Scots especially will know, there isn't much of a tipping culture here. We tip, sure (sometimes) but certainly nothing to the level that those crazy North Americans do. If someone gives you bad service at a restaurant, you should only tip 15%? If I receive bad service at a restaurant, then they can rest assured that their tip will be somewhere around the 0% mark. Don't get me wrong - if I do receive good service then I am very happy to tip, although admittedly nowhere near the 20% mark. On holiday in Eastern Europe I frequently left no tip thanks to the complete lack of service my friends and I received in some restaurants. To the people who say "You should tip them even if they give bad service, they rely on it" I say "Then bloody well serve people like you're relying on it."

Moving into my sphere of influence, the lovely bookies, we do occasionally get a tip (if that's an appropriate choice of word) when punters win big. My biggest tip to date has been £25, which is not too shabby. It came from winnings of £13,000 (the punter that tipped is one of the biggest, if not the biggest punters in the area (and by big I mean moneywise, not size)) so what percentage is that? 0.19% ! I certainly wouldn't mind a 20% tip on every payout, that would be awesome. Hell, I'd settle for a 1% tip on every payout. Given that on average we payout around £2,000 a day, would mean a very tidy £20 every day, which would pay my lunch, dinner and travel expenses. Leaving money for beer! I may be a tight student but there's honestly no tip too small. (Well, less than a £1 is pushing it but it would add up!). For instance, a punter won £50, gave me £3 and said "Get yourself a drink with that." I then split the £3 between the other two staff, leaving me with a quid. But it paid my bus home, and to me, that's still a little bonus. Unfortunately, punters are on the whole very unwilling to part with money, as they put enough over the counter already. Which is fair enough, I suppose. They don't know how little of it goes into our pockets though!

A breath of fresh air (more smoking ban related bejiggery)

2006-04-03T14:44:00.000-07:00

So, last Saturday has been and gone. Thankfully, most of my fears have proved groundless. Smokers have taken it on the chin, I didn't have to tell a single person to put a fag out, and I haven't seen a single person flout the ban yet anywhere (in pubs or clubs). The smell worries have not materialised, although my manager did say a few people made the place smell terrible on wednesday. However, air freshener has been deployed and it will definitely help.

The only thing that is an annoyance is farting! It feels like since the ban was introduced, I've been suffering gutrot! Before the ban, you could let one go, safe in the knowledge that although people immediately around you would catch a whiff, it would soon be enveloped by the smoke. Now however, you've got to be very very careful because they WILL linger and they WILL be smelt by a lot of people.

I think it's time to buy a cork!

Moving on, it's Grand National day on Saturday... which means crazy busy, as all the once a year punters come out to lay down some money on that horse that their mother/brother/brother's dodgy mate they think is a sure thing. Or, they liked the colours.

Nae Smoking Here Pal, Sorry

2006-03-29T10:15:00.000-08:00

Well, Scotland finally went ahead and did it. We banned smoking in public places.

I'm having mixed feelings about the ban. I think on the whole I'm positive about it, but I've got some nagging concerns regarding my workplace. I don't really think I can say anything generic about the ban that hasn't been said a million times before by people a million times more eloquent than me, but I would like to wax lyrical about it.

First of all, the positives.

It'll be absolutely great being able to come home from work not smelling like someone's been using your person as an ashtray.
It'll be nice being at work, and not choking to death on some particularly vicious cigarettes (those disgusting roll ups).
It'll be nice to not suffer the medical side effects, even if it doesn't cause cancer, it still quite often leaves my throat very tender, and I do have problems with sore throats + coughs.

Superb.

However, some negatives.

Relating back to my last post, I'm now a tad worried that the old unwashed man smell will pervade the shop like bird flu in an asian chicken farm. There are punters that stunk to high heaven even when there was an atmosphere in the shop not unlike London in the 1930s. What on earth is it going to be like now?!
Another forseen problem is our less desirable friends. There will be plenty of indignant smokers wishing to flout the ban, and I fear that we will see a high rate of incidents with people not obeying the law. Just what I need...

I've not worked a shift yet under the new law, it was banned last sunday, so this coming saturday will be my first shift with the ban being enforced. I'll be sure to let you all know how it pans out...

Righto...

2006-03-17T10:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks for the comment, "shambles" - A well delivered kick up the backside. Ouch.

Anyway, you're quite right, although the group project has taken up a reasonable amount of my time, but 'tis a poor excuse for ~2 months (is it closer to 3 months?) of no posts. Bleh.

[x] Must try Harder. (I do read those forums ;))

Moving on, 2 weeks ago I was dragged kicking and screaming from my usual shop, with its comforts and reasonable punters, to an utter shithole of a shop down in one of my city's slightly less desirable areas. There's a few shops down that end, three to be precise, and each of them has its own unique 'flavour'. For one of the shops in question, is quite literal.

Shop A - This shop has the worst smelling punters I've ever had the misfortune to catch a whiff of. Christ on a stick, you'd think there was a national shortage of soap and any form of deodorant in the country. I'm not saying that on the whole punters aren't smelly, because if you were to take the average punter, place your face in their armpit and take a deep breath... well, you'd be doing well if you kept down whatever you last ate. But this shop is different - it's like a whole new level of smelliness. There was one unfortunate soul - someone whom smelt so bad I actually had to go through the back of the shop and retch. Absolutely godawful. Bush and Blair could have planted this man in Baghdad, and used him as evidence for weapons of mass destruction. It was such a shame for the man, but I've never been so thankful for air freshener.

Shop B - This shop seems to be a regular place for our heroin taking friends to gather. Always plenty of 52p win bets here, and they get cheered on like there's a monkey on them. Toilets are locked, syringes are often found in the toilet, and I've had to 'chase' (politely ask to leave, before I call the cops) dealers from out the shop. Lovely place. Only redeeming feature is it's quiet, and there's a ladbrokes opposite so I can satiate my love of gambling.

Shop C - It's in the middle of about 5 pubs. Suffice to say, a constant stream of drunken punters make this shop a load of fun. I got sent here a couple of times when I was still quite the noobie - came very close to quitting after a couple of bad experiences here, mainly involving having to single man the shop, with ~ 15 punters trying to get on every race (every race - i.e. dogs, portman park) and get paid out. I lost around £30 both of the days I was there. Also, I've been told a story of a 50 year old, 20 stone woman urinating at the door because she was refused access to the toilet. Happily, this shop has been sold to another business. Haha!

I utterly detest being sent down this area. Luckily, because I'm quite the seasoned veteran now, my manager is quite keen to hold onto me and normally sends the other 'lesser' cashier to the shops that need cover. Unfortunately this was to play against me that week, because the other shop needed someone with a degree of compentency, and my shop already had the manager and the deputy working. Balls.

I was sent to shop B. And if having to go there wasn't bad enough, I was having to work with a girl to which whom I made a rather embarrassing proposition to on a staff night out (thankfully quite a while ago), whilst off my face drunk. Grrrrrrrreat.

Thankfully it wasn't that bad, managed to use patter to avoid any trouble with a few unsalacious types, and although the day's conversation was strained, it was bearable. No problems with junkies or any of their like.

The shop's still a shithole though.

Apologies

2006-03-10T05:15:00.000-08:00

Sincere apologies for the lack of posts - Had a huge group project due in this week, and it's kinda taken up most my time.

I hope to resume normal service soon... got lots of stuff I want to say!

Happy New Year and What Not

2006-01-08T05:58:00.000-08:00

Yes, indeed, I would like to lead off by wishing all visitors (I know there are some!) a very happy new year, and all the best for 2006.

Anyway, in a complete non-shocker, I was ill again around new year, having to take more days off work. It sucks balls, but when you genuinely are unwell, what can you do? Especially don't want to infect everyone (although I appear to have infected plenty of my friends, oops). It's been a slightly rotten new year, second new year in a row I've had spoilt by feeling unwell. For me, a selfish toast - to good health!

I did manage to drag myself into work yesterday, nothing wrong with me really anyway (except a cough which was rivalling the 90 year old 40 a day smokers for sheer noise). A decent day - a lot of fancied horses didn't land anywhere, in particular the big race at Sandown, the 3.10 - Two 25/1 shots shared first and second = A lot of disgruntled punters. We nearly had the ultimate football coupon buster also, when Chelsea were drawing 1-1 with Huddersfield, at a price of roughly 1/20 , a lot of people just think, 'it's a sure thing, i'll just stick em on for a wee (the emphasis on wee) bonus' - I know I did. Sadly for my monstrous accumulative effort, I was spooned by Middlesbrough forgetting to win against Nuneaton. Buggers.

So I'm looking at doing management training, the idea that a mutally beneficial arrangement will arise - I get to manage sundays, and during the summer (good for my CV, and my wallet) and they get the benefits of having an extra manager. The only problem really is finding a time that's suitable for me to do the training, I'm solidly in from Monday to Fridays nowadays, in an attempt to actually pass my degree at a level sufficient to go onto masters.

I'd love it if people commented more, but I do appreciate that maybe what I'm saying is uncommentworthy, but it would make me so happy!

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

Just a short note to wish anyone who happens to stumble on this blog, a very Merry Christmas.

Don't get too fat eating festive goodies!

Phew.

2005-12-17T15:52:00.000-08:00

Thank the good lord, thankfully my exam period is over, so I hope to be regaling you with more japes and tales from the wonderful world of the bookies. I can't say it's been the best examination diet ever, in fact the words "positively" and "shit" come to mind. Ah well, as my Director of Studies told me, just gotta draw a line behind it and get on with the rest.

Vaguely interesting day at work today, was sitting minding my own business, translating bets, when I get a "liability" alert flashing up. Normally we get liability alerts flashing up when a placepot is still valid after 3 or so races (whoopie doo), but when I checked the alert, it informed me that a horse in an upcoming race had in excess of £2000 riding on it. Erm, yikes. A guy had done a 50p unit stake lucky 15, with an each way roll up on it, and picked 3 winners, 8/1, 20/1 and 20/1. The last horse was about to race, and was priced at 12/1. If it had won, the punter would have been taking home around £100,000. Sadly (yes sadly, i do like to see nice people winning, honest!) the fourth horse was not quite up to the standard of the previous three, and thus he was not to win a serious amount of money. £2000 isn't to be sniffed at though, for an initial £10 stake! Aside from that little bit of excitement, it was pretty dead, and has been for a while now. Bit of a shame, we've been struggling to work out why the shop has lost a bit of business recently, and coming up blank.

Anyway, I hope to be updating more, and preferably when I'm not quite so bloody tired!

Quick Update

2005-12-05T07:44:00.000-08:00

Just to welcome any new visitors to the blog, apologies for being a tad busy at the mo, I'm currently snowed under with exams. Despite not really being clued into the subjects, I'm feeling surprisingly unstressed at the moment - not sure whether that's a good thing, in all honesty, and I'm sure it will change for the worse before tomorrow's first exam.

Feel free to have a look through the archives, being a relatively new blog, there's not really a lot to go through so it won't take long!

Work and Illness

2005-11-25T09:23:00.000-08:00

It's not been the greatest of years for me, health wise. Had a variety of illnesses this year, and it's far from ideal. I've definitely picked up the tag "Sicknote" amongst my friends, and it can't be long til I'm thought of that way at work, if not already. I've had mumps, flu, tonsillitis (all resulting in 2 week absences minimum) as well as a great stomach bug I picked up last week making me very very ill at work (major vomiting ill), although it did not last long, being sick at work isn't the most fun experience.

Anyway, in other un-work-related news, I went to see Franz Ferdinand the other night, and it was very, very good! I'm a huge fan though, so it was probably to be expected. Also, Civ 4 is very good. Too good, given it's exam time. Bollocks. It's also still very cold, and given the time of the year, it's not likely to be alleviating any time soon. Damn.

So, working tomorrow... don't think there's too much on, but as always I'm normally pretty much mistaken... *checks BBC* hmm Newbury, normally pretty decent... well, maybe everyone will be saving money for christmas? HAHAHA. Anyway I'll probably be pretty quiet for the next wee while, exam time looms over me as well as essays and whatnot, so I should be fairly busy. Will hopefully manage an update or two though!

Wet Weather, Work and More Dodgy Punters

2005-11-17T15:33:00.000-08:00

I think I may be coming down with a nice dose of SAD. Walking home from uni last friday (gale force winds in Scotland!) was a thoroughly miserable experience, getting battered by driving rain and gales isn't pleasant, and it was capped off by getting splashed by a big dumper truck as it drove past, ruining my jacket. Bastard!

So it was quite a fun weekend of work last week, good meeting at Cheltenham so we were fairly busy. Carlisle was abandoned due to the wet weather, not that the racing was particularly good anyway, was pretty quiet on Sunday. Took 1 bet between 5pm and 6pm - now thats what I call work! Another positive side effect of EPoS is that my breaks are awesome now - whereas before I'd be lucky to grab 10 mins to hoover a roll into my mouth, now I have at least 1 hour off to sit around and read the paper, occasionally answer the shop phone, chat with punters. It's a benefit to the company in that sense because it's good to build up a rapport with our customers - we want to make them feel wanted and to come back!

Anyway, I was browsing over at Bill Sticker's "Walking The Streets" and he wrote a nice piece about 'chancers' or (as I'd describe them) people who are on the dodge. I did leave a comment but I wanted to have a wee talk about them myself over here. As you can imagine, or as I have no doubt pointed out, that the bookies is a place where the less salubrious members of the public tend to gather, and obviously these people have no moral qualms whatsoever about trying to cheat you out of money. Thus, it is very important to always have your wits about you when taking bets, as there are a few methods to try and cheat you. Let's see a few.

1) The "Bet Back" Scam

Nullified due to EPoS, but this was a big problem back in the days of carbon copies and manual settling. Don't want to go into too much detail (unlike the Daily Record, whom when reporting about the scam, also proceeded to give a full page diagram outlining how to do the scam... I mean... honestly...) but it involves tricking the cashier into giving you the top copy of the bet back, changing it so you win big, and managing to get it back over the counter.

2) The Cheeky "Already Kicked Off and Finished" Bet

Normally seen in coupons, this is where a punter comes in at 2:50pm to put his saturday bets on and has accidentally also slipped in a bet on the game that kicked off at 12:30pm, and has not only surprisingly picked the winner, but also the correct score. Again, mainly nullified by EPoS but we still do settle some bets manually so extra care has to be taken.

3) The Price Pincher

Presented in the medium of an IRC conversation

* DodgyPunter enters #bookies
* DodgyPunter casually mills around, picks up a betting slip, looks at the price screen
* DodgyPunter watches as the price of the favourite in the next race drops from 4/1 to 7/2
* DodgyPunter hangs around to see if it will go back up, however seeing that it doesn't, goes over to the counter
[DodgyPunter] I'll take a price please mate, 4/1
* Kaiser looks at selection and meeting, and then the price screen
[Kaiser] It's 7/2 now mate.
[DodgyPunter] It was just 4/1 two seconds ago for fucks sake mate!
[Kaiser] No, it was last 4/1 fully two minutes ago mate, I know what you're like so I've been keeping an eye on the prices of the favourites since you walked in the door. Now do you want 7/2 or not?
[DodgyPunter] Just let it run...

I am not always this harsh, I tend to operate a one strike and you're out policy - i.e. I'll probably give your dodgy price request the benefit of the doubt if I don't really know you, but any more requests that don't tally and I'll be straight into harsh mode! Known price pinchers get harsh mode by default.

4) Damn Machine! It swallowed my money!

But yet, it didn't. If it all the money input adds up, and there's no sign of any stuck money (i.e. whirring etc) then I'm afraid you're talking shite, sir. We may call an engineer to check but normally it isn't worth the hassle.

5) The British Rail Punter

Never on time with his bets, always running up on the off. It's difficult to obtain a huge advantage from this, and generally our off system is very fair. Virtual racing is the best opportunity to try this trick but we close the offs before it starts. Nothing better than a punter who's been refused a bet due to persistant lateness, then starts F'ing and C'ing because his "bet" "won". (Yes sir, I'm sure you were going to lump £10 win onto that 66/1 shot that just won, and if you truly were going to, and aren't actually talking rectally, then un-fucking-lucky.)

All good fun really. Anyway, more work this weekend (Doing saturday and sunday again, yay) so hopefully there will be more tales soon!

Some Info

2005-11-09T00:49:00.000-08:00

I've noticed a few referrals have been from search engines looking for information on Lucky 15s, Irish Lottery bets. So, anyone who stumbles upon this place, here's some basic info on multiples.

Full Cover Multiples Betting: This is for 3 or more selections, and there are two kinds - Full cover multiples with singles, and Full Cover Multiples without.

Here's Full Cover with Singles:

One correct selection will give you a return

3 selections: Patent (7 bets)
4 selections: Lucky 15 (15 bets)
5 selections: Lucky 31 (31 bets)
6 selections: Lucky 62 (62 bets)
7 + no special names that I'm aware of, I'd call them "fuck off" bets...

Full Cover without Singles:

Two correct selections are needed for a return

3 selections: Trixie (4 bets)
4 selections: Yankee (11 bets)
5 selections: Super Yankee or Canadian (26 bets)
6 selections: Heinz (57 bets)
7 selections: Super Heinz (120 bets)
8 selections: Goliath (247 bets)
9 selections and above: Blockbuster

Hope this is of use to some people, probably not though.

Was off last weekend, rather enjoyed doing nothing, my copy of Civilisation 4 dropped through the door the Friday before so I spent some quality time getting acquainted with it!

EPoS

2005-10-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

Well, our shop has had EPoS in for nearly 2 weeks, and I've got to say, it's pretty damn good. Of the major bookmakers in the UK, I'm pretty sure that Hills is the last one to install EPoS tills - their reasoning being 'We'll carry on with our established old system, let the trailblazers iron out all the faults, then get in EPoS'. The plan seems to have worked, because aside from a minor hitch (no results for 1.5 hrs on a Saturday - bad) the system is very good - robust, easy to use and quick.

Most refreshing is the removal of a few tasks which I grew to loathe in my time pre-EPoS... Mainly tapping up 200+ figures into an adding machine (totalling paid out bets, totalling bets still to be paid out) which sucked balls. My shop was a levy shop before (we worked out who is staking what on what) but thanks to EPoS we don't have to do that any more because when we enter in a bet to the system, it can work it out itself, essentially making every shop a levy shop. Huzzah! Mistakes have reduced dramatically - humans are fallible, some more so than others... yes you managers know who you are. Of course we can still make mistakes when entering in bets to the system! However, it's quite hard to do because if the stake of the bet you've input to the system doesn't match the amount the system knows you have received from the customer, then it will not accept the bet until you sort it. For instance, a popular bet in my shop is doing a £1 unit stake Lucky 15/31/62 with a £1 E/W rollup tacked on at the bottom. This rollup was very easy to miss - but on the EPoS tills it would bring up a dialog informing you the stakes don't match, so you'd look at the bet again and go "ahhh, keep forgetting about that bastard's E/W rollups" and make a mental note to shoe him in the groin next time you see him.

There are some niggles I have with the system, and hope to pass them on. My main annoyance is the keyboard that's on it... it's QWERTY style, but the keys are all aligned with each other (i.e. A is directly under Q, Z is directly under A) not indented like a normal keyboard. This is a source of MUCH exasperation as I make yet ANOTHER typo when typing in a horse name. I can't fathom any logical reason for doing it, someone mentioned "its because it makes RFC (what we type in to tell the system the bet is a reverse forecast) all exactly under each other" If so, I'd like to take whoever thought of that idea and apply nipple gripples until they die.

My other slight gripe is that the system now logs our bets taken, slips translated and slips paid out, and gives an average of our transactions per 30 mins. My laziness is now very obvious!

I'll have more to say on EPoS after I use it a bit more!

Kaiser

*Warning* Livejournalesque moment *Warning*

P.S. I wish I could work more with a certain someone. She rules. I wish I could work up the balls to ask her out. Crushes suck.

Yay!

2005-10-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

I can't say this blog is quite at the 1000+ daily viewers I'd love to have (and most likely never will!) but I'm pleased to report that I've had my first hate mail (in the form of a comment)! Yay!

Let's deconstruct the hate mail (comment), shall we?

--
YOu come across as a complete wanker. You sound like a snivvelling bigoted middle class prick writing a load of smug snobbish drivel.

Why dont you get a job somewhere else and stop being such a fascist cunt?
--

1) Complete Wanker: I'll concede the wanker part. I'm in quite the dry spell just now.

2) Snivelling: Well, ok, I'll concede that too, I have done some whining.

3) Bigoted: Nah, sorry - don't see any bigotry in my postings. Healthy disdain for scummy bastards, but I wouldn't call that bigotry.

4) Middle Class: Heh - not quite. If I do get through this degree and get myself a decent job, then lets hope I do become Middle Class. I wouldn't say I'm quite working class either - maybe a bit of a hybrid of both?

5) Fascist: Gotta concede that one again. If you could hear some of my "solutions" to the problem of chavs and their effect on society, you'd realise how on the ball that insult was.

As for the rest, well, you're entitled to your opinion, if it is stupid. I actually like my job, but we all have our bad days, and that's what I wrote about. I enjoy my insight into the lowest rungs of society, even if dealing with the mess that sometimes spews forth from there can be "fun".

--

Anyway, I went on my EPoS training course last week which was pretty good fun - the trainers were very friendly chaps and possessed good banter, so the day went pretty quickly. My shop goes live very soon, and I'm going to pop in to have a wee go before Saturday so I can see how it works in the shop. I've heard some great stories about the first Saturday, such as having to stay an extra hour or so to finish stuff off, so I'm 'looking forward' to that.

I'm sure I'll have plenty to say on it after Saturday!

Kaiser

Absence Note

2005-09-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Sir/Madam/Random Internet Person,

Please excuse Kaiser from not updating his journal regularly, he has just suffered a nice dose of tonsillitis, most likely brought on by THAT shift below.

Yours Sincerely,

Kaiser.

===

P.S. Watch this space - my shop is drawing ever closer to EPOS adventures. Woo!

One of Those Days...

2005-09-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the lack of updates (given I've only just started the blog, that's kinda worrying) but I've been laid low with an infection. However, being the (fool)hardy person I am, I decided to struggle into work. I normally would have just phoned it off, but I felt bad because I'd begged my DM for some extra shifts, and he very kindly obliged.

God, I wish I'd listened to my body and stayed off.

I guess it's an unwritten rule in any line of work that whenever circumstances dictate that you really need an easy day, you will always get a complete clusterc**tf**k of a day. And that's what I had.

First off, when I get in at 12:40pm (10 mins late - not used to buses at new flat *ahem*) it's utterly heaving, about 20+ people crammed into the shop. Manager wants to get out for his lunchbreak but there's no time - we're continually taking bets. comes in and chucks £150 on a dog at 4/1. It wins, leaving us to find £750 to pay him out of a shop that was cleaned out yesterday and hasn't had a chance to do any banking... in between taking bets constantly and paying out others, we finally manage to scrape together the money to pay him, which takes 20 minutes in all. 20 mins is a long time to wait but when a shop is heaving and only has 2 staff who are constantly doing other things (we aren't on EPOS yet so we have to settle bets manually) you think people would understand... but no, he takes a mental turn, informs us we are the worst shop he's ever been in and that we've cost him money, because he couldn't put on his next bet in time. Did he think to ask us "Hey, could you give me some of my winnings quickly so I can put a bet on?" Of course not, instead he does the usual w****rish thing and just screams and shouts. I barely managed to refrain from shouting something that would have cost me my job - the key word being barely!

So, after the rush dies down, and my manager gets out for a greatly reduced 10 minute break, I think things may just be about to get better. Are they hell! This dodgy looking guy comes up with a £0.05 receipt from our FOBTs (Fixed Odds Betting Terminals - basically a method for people to spend even more money, mainly on roulette) informing us that he'd "stuck a tenner in and it had just pure come up blank, like". Now, the machines are notoriously dodgy for doing stuff like this, but something didn't strike me as right - i.e. this dick was on the dodge. I placated him by telling him we'd check the machine out, so we got the money in and surprise surprise, it was fine. We had a look in the note receptor, nothing stuck, nor was it making the usual noises it makes when a note gets stuck. He was starting to get quite aggressive by this point, accusing us of "bumpin" him and that he "wisnae gonnae stand fir it, ah'm gonnae phone the polis". He then was kind enough to inform me that "a tenner wis a loat o money" (I'm a student, I'm well aware thank you) but he "had £150 in his poacket onyways" but that "a tenner is still a lot of money, ye ken what ah'm sayin". Although my attempt to put a regional dialect down as written word may be slightly lacking, he genuinely did talk like this. He'd just started to calm down, when another FOBT that someone else was playing crashed mid spin. As it rebooted, the customer came over to enquire what happens to his money (the outcome of your bet is decided as soon as you press the bet button, so the fact that it crashed mid spin was irrelevant) but whilst he was over at the counter, the machine rebooted itself and was back at the game screen. Mr Dodge decided that a good way to proceed in his crusade would be to play this other customers money. Great. Despite our collective shouts of "OI, DON'T YOU DARE!!" he continued on. Luckily, my manager had introduced me to some of the staff functions, and one of those is to remotely disable the machine. Unfortunately, he'd managed to get a £1.75 bet in before the disabling took effect. Sigh. Thankfully after this, he buggered off, finally realising he wasn't gonna get his "tenner". I ended up refunding the guys money, causing me to be short at the end of the night (not my money though, eh?) but still mildly annoyed. I kept one eye on the door all day, expecting him to come back to do us in, but he didn't, so that was one bonus point.

The last thing I want to moan about (quickly, its late and my extremities are getting very cold what with this damned fever) is people who bring CHILDREN into a bookmakers! AGH! Such an irresponsible thing to do - I honestly think that people who make a child step into a bookies should be met with a RRSWU (Rapid Response Social Work Unit) and have their children automatically taken off them. Bloody ignorant fools.

Anyway, that's enough ranting for now.

Cheers readers (all 3 or so of you),

Kaiser

Punters

2005-08-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

One of the more 'interesting' aspects of working in a bookmakers is that you truly do get to see the lowest of the low on a relatively frequent basis. I'm pretty sure only Policemen and Social Workers see more of these type of people than I do. Regular visitors to my shop include junkies, dealers, career criminals, alcoholics, homeless people and old men with barely an IQ point to speak of due to the ravages of degenerative brain diseases. Don't get me wrong, it's not quite the case that every single punter that comes into the shop is a social outcast of some description, but they certainly do make up a large percentage of the shops custom. For instance, if you wish to use the toilet in the shop (the cubicle) then you must ask for the key from me, simply because we've had one instance too many of junkies shooting up in the toilet. Sad, but necessary.

There are plenty of punters though who do brighten up your day - in my shop there are a few regulars who I always look forward to seeing and have become quite fond of. I always have time for a natter with them while they're in, and I would actually go as far to say that I would miss them if and when Father Time catches up with them - however I hope it won't be for a long time!

Over my relatively short time I have identified certain types of punters, and I'm pretty sure most punters can be herded into at least one, and sometimes more than one of the following categories:

FAV: This punter will pretty much exclusively bet on the favourite, although very rarely he/she may push the boat out and bet on the 2nd favourite. Quite often combined with the Hardcore type, FAV backers tend to have about as much personality as a glass of water.

Favourite bet(s): £5 win single on FAV

Dreamer: The opposite of the FAV - attracted to high odds like flies to shit, moths to a flame, etc. Normally tend to be poorer people who are searching for the low stake, high payout. Relentlessly optimistic, Dreamers tend to be much cheerier customers and will often indulge in some friendly banter.

Favourite bet(s): Numbers (Irish Lotto, 49s), E/W single on 20/1+ shots, E/W Lucky 15s

NB: I would class myself a Dreamer

Lucky: Comes in, sticks on a couple of Lucky 15/31/62 bets, then leaves. The "Bish Bash Bosh" of the punting world. Don't expect more than a polite "Hello" and "Thanks". Tends to pick the Racing Post naps, quite often gets modest returns. Sometimes this happens though.

Favourite bet(s): Umm.. a Lucky 15/31/62?

Hardcore: Bets on every single race he/she can, tends to stay for hours at a time. Bonus points if they stay all day. Don't they have something better to do? Evidently not. Where do they get all this money from? Who knows.

Favourite bet(s): Irrelevant. As long as money changes hands, he/she will be happy.

Depressive: Why does this punter bet? He/She certainly does not seem to be getting any joy from doing so, and gambling seems to have become another chore in their horrifically dreary life. This is the kind of punter that comes up to the counter, asks for a price (for instance 5/2) and says "I better take it before it goes out to 3/1... it always does..." *sigh* Normally divorced. Nuff said.

Superstitious: Blames certain cashiers for being "Unlucky". The kind of person that will put £5 on Number 5 in the 5th Race at 5pm at 5/1, or a multiple bet involving horses with a connection in their name - for instance a treble on three horses called "Red Dragon", "Red Eye" and "Red Turner". If they bet numbers, they will ALWAYS put on the same numbers, every time, and are now stuck in the mindset of "If I miss this draw, my numbers WILL come out in the one draw I miss, therefore I can never miss a draw."

Permanently Drunk: Complete pain in the arse, and often abusive. Cashiers have been known to become intoxicated by merely being the vicinity of these punters. Always be alert in case they attempt to take a sly swally of their White Lightning.

Junkie: Easily identifiable by their sunken faces and remarkably small heads. When not attempting to take their methadone in our toilets, they do occasionally try to place a bet with the money they have "borrowed" from decent upstanding members of the public. A law demanding the immediate euthanasia of these scummy members of society is long overdue.

Favourite bet(s): 67p win single on the FAV of the next race.

There are plenty more punters, I will add to this list as I think of more - for now, enjoy!

Some Musings

2005-08-24T02:59:00.000-07:00

So what am I trying to do with this blog? Well, I dunno really... I like to write, and like I mentioned in my initial post, I haven't found any bookmakers blogs on my interwebnet travels... so I thought "Why the hell not?". It makes a change from writing a whiny personal blog, thats for sure. As I mentioned, I'm keeping this anonymous for the moment at least, although I get the feeling I could put all my details down here and not a single soul would notice... However I am going to say that I work for William Hill - we are currently in the process of going over to an EPOS system, and I think my feelings on this process would reveal who I'm working for, so best to just get it out in the open!

Anyway, onward ho!

First of all, Night Racing ends this Saturday. For all involved in the industry, this is damn good news! No more sitting around, bored out your mind, taking about 20% of the business you normally do during the day. No more 9/12 hour shifts for cashiers and managers respectively, back to 6/9 hour days. It will be superb! Will be a shame losing out on the good overtime, but a return to a normal(ish) life will be good. Might even get to go to the gym at night now...
("Oh, who's going to the pub? Well... I was gonna gym it but... what the hell, I'll have a pint, aye...)

Sooooooooooooooooooo, I've got some nice posts I've been mulling over, each one no doubt being so incisive it makes me cry inside. They will come soon.

Greetings

2005-08-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hello.

After reading so many blogs on people's work (Random Acts of Reality and The Coppers Blog being two shining examples), a half hearted search on google turned up no blogs from anyone in the bookmaking industry! Now I'm pretty sure that someone somewhere has done one, and if anyone happens to read this blog who knows of some bookmakers blogs, please please point me in their direction!

I'm planning on keeping this blog anonymous, names will be changed, etc etc, just so I don't have the might of the company coming down on me should I happen to say something a tad naughty!

Anyway, a little about me - I'm a student normally, hence the "part time" bookie - I'm just a Saturday cashier (seasonal - i.e. I work full time over the summer) . I've been working for the company for just over a year now, still *kinda* enjoying it - the people I work with being good are the only thing that keep me there... the punters themselves, on the whole, certainly do not!

So there's a little introduction, would be nice if you gave me the old bookmark, I do hope to update reasonably regularly!

Cheers!

Kaiser