Friday, September 23, 2005


Absence Note

Dear Sir/Madam/Random Internet Person,

Please excuse Kaiser from not updating his journal regularly, he has just suffered a nice dose of tonsillitis, most likely brought on by THAT shift below.

Yours Sincerely,



P.S. Watch this space - my shop is drawing ever closer to EPOS adventures. Woo!

Thursday, September 08, 2005


One of Those Days...

Apologies for the lack of updates (given I've only just started the blog, that's kinda worrying) but I've been laid low with an infection. However, being the (fool)hardy person I am, I decided to struggle into work. I normally would have just phoned it off, but I felt bad because I'd begged my DM for some extra shifts, and he very kindly obliged.

God, I wish I'd listened to my body and stayed off.

I guess it's an unwritten rule in any line of work that whenever circumstances dictate that you really need an easy day, you will always get a complete clusterc**tf**k of a day. And that's what I had.

First off, when I get in at 12:40pm (10 mins late - not used to buses at new flat *ahem*) it's utterly heaving, about 20+ people crammed into the shop. Manager wants to get out for his lunchbreak but there's no time - we're continually taking bets. comes in and chucks £150 on a dog at 4/1. It wins, leaving us to find £750 to pay him out of a shop that was cleaned out yesterday and hasn't had a chance to do any banking... in between taking bets constantly and paying out others, we finally manage to scrape together the money to pay him, which takes 20 minutes in all. 20 mins is a long time to wait but when a shop is heaving and only has 2 staff who are constantly doing other things (we aren't on EPOS yet so we have to settle bets manually) you think people would understand... but no, he takes a mental turn, informs us we are the worst shop he's ever been in and that we've cost him money, because he couldn't put on his next bet in time. Did he think to ask us "Hey, could you give me some of my winnings quickly so I can put a bet on?" Of course not, instead he does the usual w****rish thing and just screams and shouts. I barely managed to refrain from shouting something that would have cost me my job - the key word being barely!

So, after the rush dies down, and my manager gets out for a greatly reduced 10 minute break, I think things may just be about to get better. Are they hell! This dodgy looking guy comes up with a £0.05 receipt from our FOBTs (Fixed Odds Betting Terminals - basically a method for people to spend even more money, mainly on roulette) informing us that he'd "stuck a tenner in and it had just pure come up blank, like". Now, the machines are notoriously dodgy for doing stuff like this, but something didn't strike me as right - i.e. this dick was on the dodge. I placated him by telling him we'd check the machine out, so we got the money in and surprise surprise, it was fine. We had a look in the note receptor, nothing stuck, nor was it making the usual noises it makes when a note gets stuck. He was starting to get quite aggressive by this point, accusing us of "bumpin" him and that he "wisnae gonnae stand fir it, ah'm gonnae phone the polis". He then was kind enough to inform me that "a tenner wis a loat o money" (I'm a student, I'm well aware thank you) but he "had £150 in his poacket onyways" but that "a tenner is still a lot of money, ye ken what ah'm sayin". Although my attempt to put a regional dialect down as written word may be slightly lacking, he genuinely did talk like this. He'd just started to calm down, when another FOBT that someone else was playing crashed mid spin. As it rebooted, the customer came over to enquire what happens to his money (the outcome of your bet is decided as soon as you press the bet button, so the fact that it crashed mid spin was irrelevant) but whilst he was over at the counter, the machine rebooted itself and was back at the game screen. Mr Dodge decided that a good way to proceed in his crusade would be to play this other customers money. Great. Despite our collective shouts of "OI, DON'T YOU DARE!!" he continued on. Luckily, my manager had introduced me to some of the staff functions, and one of those is to remotely disable the machine. Unfortunately, he'd managed to get a £1.75 bet in before the disabling took effect. Sigh. Thankfully after this, he buggered off, finally realising he wasn't gonna get his "tenner". I ended up refunding the guys money, causing me to be short at the end of the night (not my money though, eh?) but still mildly annoyed. I kept one eye on the door all day, expecting him to come back to do us in, but he didn't, so that was one bonus point.

The last thing I want to moan about (quickly, its late and my extremities are getting very cold what with this damned fever) is people who bring CHILDREN into a bookmakers! AGH! Such an irresponsible thing to do - I honestly think that people who make a child step into a bookies should be met with a RRSWU (Rapid Response Social Work Unit) and have their children automatically taken off them. Bloody ignorant fools.

Anyway, that's enough ranting for now.

Cheers readers (all 3 or so of you),


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